glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
