Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
