Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
