If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
