This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
