I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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