I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
