Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
