ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he was CRYING into my vagina
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
