yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
