I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
