I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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