margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
