Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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