What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Of course I have a pirate flag
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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