I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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