You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
