This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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