And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
