I like my sex mixed with concussions.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
