hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
