I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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