how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
All I want is dick and wine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
