They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
