At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
