i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
