how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
