He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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