You don't have asthma, your pregnant
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
