so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
