it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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