do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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