drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
