'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
