So drunk its hurt
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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