i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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