I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
