As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
