so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
