He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
