she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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