Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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