i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
