So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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