Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
