Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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