And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
