I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
