i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
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