My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
