And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
