when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
