I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
