I got chris browned last night
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
