i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
