we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
