sarcasm needs its own font
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
