i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
