Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
